It was a chilly night. The wind was wrestling the trees. Everything was moving. I was so excited. Things were normal going great then BAM! The sentence I convinced myself wasn’t coming came. I expected it but like the foolish girl I can be I erased the thought from my head. Mistake. It hit me like a ton of bricks being dropped from a 57 story building. I hated every minute of it, but strange as it may be, I understood. It hurt and I hated it but I didn’t doubt that it wasn't right. The way it happened wasn’t my favorite and the situation was one I didn’t and don’t want to be in but after a little rain and confusion I found the light. I know its better this way. It had to be done. I am still sad and it still rains but this is life. We do not choose our trials or, however sad they seem at the time, our blessings. It hurts me now. Little things spark memories and reactions. I know though, when the time is right I will understand. I don’t now when, but with faith, walking blindly my path will be come clear when I am ready for whatever lies ahead.
I have a lot of work to do. Alost of growing and changing that needs to accure. I am here for a reason that has not yet made itself known to me. I want to leave. I want to run all day and all night until I reach my old lumpy mattress and my torn stained but amazing baby quilt. But alas I have a bad heart and would die before I made it a mile. So here I am. Trapped but at the same time free to choose. Once again I am here for reasons unknown. Life is leading me in such a strange path. All things seem unknown. But are secretly know but the most important person. He has a plan and I am just following the path.
What did I learn? What did you learn?
What changed?
What is to be done? Who of all these (voices and roads is) right; or are they all wrong together? If any of them be right, which is it, and how shall i know? –Joseph Smith.
I got a new book today. When Im sad I shouldn’t be allowed into book stores. Its not good for my wallet.
Goodnight.<3
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